to be thankful

I noticed a pretty ugly part of myself the other day. On my way home from class, I got the urge to check my mailbox as I do about once every month and I was surprised to find something other than Geico junkmail and coupons. There were two cards and a package in my mailbox all with my name on them. I immediately run back to my car and rip open one of the cards. I don’t even stop to read the card. Instead, I open the card immediately, without reading anything, looking for money. The joy I felt when I saw the money in the card was not worth how awful I felt about myself later when I realized I didn’t even know who the card was from. I was so caught up in hoping there was money in the card, I did not even stop to read what sweet soul sent money to me for HALLOWEEN. I almost sat and cried to myself a few hours after opening the card when I realized that this is not the person I like to think I am. When did I become so caught up in myself, money, and worldly things? One thing about me is that I hate following the crowd. I’m kind of against the newest technology (ahem, e-readers, you will be responsible for wrecking me if you make real books become extinct), I don’t follow trends, I don’t like music in the top 40, I don’t like how modern the world is becoming and I’ve always somewhat moved against the current.  I like to think I’m a somewhat “different” gen y-er, an old soul of sorts, and this situation showed me that I’m not as impervious to getting too caught up in myself and the things in this world as I thought I was. I am not that much different from all of the other ungrateful kids out there who care nothing about a card from a family member; the kind of person who would toss a card in the trash after collecting the money from it.

I’m actually glad this happened though, because it taught me to be more grateful, forget about money and worldly things, because in all reality, they mean nothing. What really matters is the person who took time out of their day to think about you and to send you a card because of that. That is what is important. Because at the end of the day, the person behind the card will always be there. The Chipotle and Starbucks you bought with that $20 will be gone after your most recent trip to the bathroom and that’s something we could all remember every now and then.

I am sad that I let money rule my life and I’m not letting it anymore. It’s time for me to be thankful for the things I have, the people that send me cards with money I did nothing to deserve, and the life that the Good Lord has blessed me with.

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2 Comments

Filed under life, personal

2 responses to “to be thankful

  1. CKS

    I’m guilty of the same thing. Of course, not so much these days, but that’s because loss has put things into perspective: I’m down to my mom, my aunt, and my two older female cousins (and their husbands) who are like sisters to me. I actually have a pretty big family, but nobody else ever comes around or acknowledges anyone’s existence. So I guess I’ve learned to cherish things in that regard.

    Noticed you changed URLs!

    By the way — Halloween night… some kid straight up told me, “If you were trick or treating, I’d give you Just for Men for your gray hair”. WTF. I’m just 22 and hearing that! I can only imagine in ten years…….

    • Your comment just made me really happy! Haha, I actually went to your blog yesterday to see if you had posted anything recently and seeing your comment was such a surprise!

      I’m sorry to hear that about your family. I kind of understand what you mean. All of my family lives in New York besides me, my dad, my brother and my mom (and we don’t really have a relationship) so I feel kind of lacking on the family side as well.

      Yeah, I don’t know why but I had the urge to change it. I kind of thought it was just too easily findable!

      Haha that is too funny! I actually found a gray hair in my head the other day and kind of freaked out. I also can’t believe this kid told you that.. he was definitely honest haha

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