Still Fighting It

This, I can honestly say, is the most difficult part of my life so far. Four years ago, I was starting high school and now I’m starting college. I was reminded of this last night when I was watching the Olympic Opening Ceremony and realized that in the last summer olympics, I was 14 and getting ready to go start a new chapter in my life, high school. I remember saying at one point that the next time the summer olympics came on I would be going to college, and look where I am. I am going to college in 8 days.

As far as saying goodbye, I’m horrible at it. Horrible, horrible, horrible. I wrote a blog post a couple months ago talking about how much I hate saying bye to people and I’ve never had to do so much of it in my life, until now. It is literally the hardest thing I’ve had to do and I haven’t even said goodbye to everyone yet.

I said bye to my neighbor/friend/mentor/mother-figure last night and it was horrible. I cried so much, and was honestly holding back. I could have sobbed for an hour. She has meant so much to me and I know that was just a taste of what saying bye to my dad and brother will be like.

Tonight, I had an employee meeting at work and stood up and told everyone how much I love them and will miss them, not without choking up of course, and thinking about leaving everyone really makes me want to just crawl in a hole and not come out. This week is going to be SO hard. I know it. I will cry every day, probably multiple times a day when I slowly say goodbye to everyone. Oh Lord, I’m not ready for this at all.

On a happier note, I am ready for college. I mean I may not be ready to be responsible for myself and for cooking and cleaning and studying and going to bed at reasonable hours and all the other semi-adult things I have to do, BUT I am ready for a change, even though I kind of hate them. I’m also ready to get over this guy I’ve been crushing on all summer. I really like him but hopefully some new guys at Auburn will turn my thoughts away from above-mentioned guy who has totally made me like him on purpose. It worked. Hopefully I learn not to fall for that kind of bs in college.

 

So, I’m sure I’ll post a few more of these blog posts about leaving and homesickness and starting college.

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