In Your Atmosphere

Simply put, I am a mess. A complete. and utter, out of control, emotional wreck. One of my teachers told me before I graduated that this summer was going to be a fun one but also a confusing one. Boy, was she right. I feel out of place. I’m not a high school student, and not yet a college student. Well, if you want to get technical, I actually am officially enrolled at Auburn, but you know what I mean.

Tonight, my dad started talking to me about getting boxes together and I just lost it. I had to shut the door on his face and just bawl in my room. I can not handle the fact that in a MONTH, I will no longer be living in Birmingham, AL. I will no longer be surrounded by the same people I’ve been surrounded by for the last 18 years. I will leave way too many of my best friends. I will be leaving my coworkers. I will be leaving everything I know and I am NOT ready for it. Yeah, I am SO excited for college, but I’m not excited to have to adapt to the change, because that is something that I am horrible at. You might have noticed that if you’ve read any other posts on my blog.

After this past weekend, I’ve been especially depressed about leaving my Newks friends.We had a “graduation” party for the employees at my friend Karley’s house and it was really fun. It made me realize that some of the friends I’ve made at Newks are some of the best friends ever and that they mean so much more to me than I ever thought coworkers could mean to someone. Today, my manager was joking around about finding my “replacement” (which will never happen BTW because no one can replace me…:)) and I cried. It was a joke, but seriously thinking about leaving really depresses me.

There is also stuff going on in my life right now that really confuses me. Stuff I don’t reaaally want to get into on a blog that no one reads, but I am just so confused why it’s happening 1 month before I leave for college. Seriously. I’ve been so patient for 18 years, and I am put in this situation when I have one month left…? I don’t get my life sometimes.


Seriously, this post is ridiculous and really personal but whatevs. I needed to vent somewhere and I’m too busy to get out a pen and actually write in my journal…



Filed under personal, random

3 responses to “In Your Atmosphere

  1. radaronelson

    Moving on to a different stage of life, leaving behind old friends and making new ones can be extremely difficult, hard and confusing. You are right, you have been around your family and friends for 18 years and to have to leave can be exciting yet scary at the same time. But one thing to remember is your not cutting them off unless you purposely do so. You will always have the opportunity to talk and see your family and your friends as well as the new friends you will make. It can be a scary time but a time we all must go through at some point and you seem like someone to me who will do just fine. Your parents will always be there to support you and help you and the same with your friends. Though some things change, some things do stay the same. Good luck and keep us updated on your adventures in life and how your doing.

    • Your comment just made my day. Sorry it took me a little bit to explain. I am definitely going to take your advice and I will definitely keep you guys updated. I’m sure my blog will be a roller coaster of emotions the first semester.

      • radaronelson

        I am so glad to hear tha it did. It’s okay I understand, trust me. Glad to hear my advice may help though. I look forward to reading your updates as for the roller coaster, well mine is too so it’s no big deal really LOL.

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