Someway, baby, it’s part of me, apart from me

Today, I, a now-non current member of the National Honor Society, tapped a younger, now-current member in to the National Honor Society. It was very, very bittersweet. I can’t believe that a year ago, I was being tapped (by my amazing friend Natalie) and the fact that a year has gone by since then really freaks me out. It literally feels like yesterday! I swear it was. Now I’m a whole year older and not a member of the NHS anymore.

Life is going by way too fast. As you might be able to tell, I’m scared of getting older and scared of moving on. Of course, I want to experience all the things that come with age, but a part of me doesn’t. A big, big part of me wants to stay this age forever. The age that you aren’t really held accountable for your actions, when you have no bills to pay, when you can act like a retard and it be okay, when you can have creepy, stalker crushes on guys without it actually being considered creepy and stalkerish, when you’re in the best shape of your life, before the wrinkles form, and the gray hair, and the responsibilities, and the bills, and the job, and children. I want to stay at this age. The age where the world is calling your name, just waiting for you to make your mark on it. I don’t want to get old, I don’t want to grow up. I don’t want to have responsibilities. I want to stay young. Someone, please, tell me how to press pause. Or at least slow down because my life feels like it’s on fast forward and I do not like it.

“After all, life hasn’t much to offer except youth, and I suppose for older people, the love of youth in others.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald

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