I’ve really started to think about college lately and it is FREAKING me out. Literally. I am so content with my life as of late (give and take a few things) and I don’t want it to end. I have FOUR months until I move into my apartment at Auburn. Four. I’m feeling anxious just thinking about it. I can’t tell you how ready I’ve been to go off to college for, pretty much, all of high school and now that it is here, I want more time. I NEED more time.

There are still things I feel like I need to do in Birmingham. I have so many things going on right now and it won’t feel right to leave. I was just doing my calander for the rest of this school year and this summer and I realized something. I have no time. None. These four months are going to FLY and I want to cry just thinking about it. 

I’m not scared of college or living on my own, at all. I’m scared of leaving what I know(what I though I’ve always hated… maybe not). I love, love, love, my job and the people I work with. I literally feel out of place when I’m not working on a weekday. If I’m not working, I feel like I should be. I’ve made some awesome, genuine, friends from work and thinking about leaving them saddens me. Newks is my escape from reality, and I really don’t want to leave it. 

I am the weirdest person I know. You think I would be excited for college? Why am I doubting it? Why am I tempted to go to UAB so I don’t have to leave everything I know? Why do I want to stay in Birmingham when I’ve been dying to get out for longer than I can remember?

Lastly, leaving my best friends is going to be horrible. We will NEVER, ever all be together as one unit again. We are all going to go off and make new friends, join soriorties and probably never be all together for real again. It sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks. Especially since a lot of them I just became friends with last year (thankfully). I feel like I just gained them, and now they’re getting yanked away from me. How awesome.

Graduation is in 50 something days. I will not be sitting on this couch in Birmingham in 4 months. In four months I will be sitting on my couch in Auburn and that is what freaks me out. 



Filed under personal

2 responses to “College

  1. CKS

    Hey, yo, old friendo! The one whose blog I visit and go into INMM (Insanely Nostalgic Madman) mode on!

    You really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really (x50) put things into deep perspective by saying “ONLY FOUR MONTHS” and “50 some days”. I can’t believe you, and the class of 2012 as a whole all around the country, are/is graduating. It still blows my mind that y’all were only freshmen my senior year.

    You are going to do awesome at Auburn. Don’t sweat it. You’ve got this! Take it from this old guy that’s set to reach the ripe old age of 21 in five months (it’s really the last year to look forward to in life, isn’t it? Nobody says, “Oh, hey! The next milestone will be age 27! Reachin’ the age of Morrison, Cobain, Hendrix, Joplin, Jones and Johnson! Yeah! Next is age 33! The age John Belushi and Chris Farley was! Yeah! Next is age……………. 67! The age Hunter S. Thompson was!” I started getting tiny ‘figments’ of gray hair when I was 16. Now it’s pretty damn visible. (Damn you, genetics!) I ran into a girl at Wal-Mart that I graduated with. We had a quick small talk discussion, but she pointed out my gray hair and had a hardy-har-har laugh. Facepalm to the max. Back in school, I thought it was ‘cool’ to look older than everybody else. Now… eh, might be time to invest in some ‘Just For Men’ hair gel. LMAO.

    Alright, alright! I’ll stop the BS’ing. But hey, here’s my suggestion: a time machine needs to be constructed. Or some way to stop time! Don’t graduate, you class of 2012’ers! Alright, so I lied about stopping the BS’ing.

    • CKS!!!! AH! You’ve been semi MIA lately… but its okay cause I have been too!

      Anyways, yeah, time has moved way too fast. I remember 3 years ago when all the then-seniors graduated and I thought my time would never come! It feels like I’ve gotten half of a blink in and before you know it, I’m graduating!

      And thanks for the words of encouragement! I’m super duper freaked about college but I think I’ll be good. In fact, I KNOW I’ll be good. I’m going to love Auburn, hopefully. Also, thanks so much for making me literally laugh out loud about the age thing. Literally. You are hilarious. and ROCK that gray hair… seriously.

      I agree about the time machine. Want to help? Cause I would have no idea where to start…

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