I’ve really started to think about college lately and it is FREAKING me out. Literally. I am so content with my life as of late (give and take a few things) and I don’t want it to end. I have FOUR months until I move into my apartment at Auburn. Four. I’m feeling anxious just thinking about it. I can’t tell you how ready I’ve been to go off to college for, pretty much, all of high school and now that it is here, I want more time. I NEED more time.
There are still things I feel like I need to do in Birmingham. I have so many things going on right now and it won’t feel right to leave. I was just doing my calander for the rest of this school year and this summer and I realized something. I have no time. None. These four months are going to FLY and I want to cry just thinking about it.
I’m not scared of college or living on my own, at all. I’m scared of leaving what I know(what I though I’ve always hated… maybe not). I love, love, love, my job and the people I work with. I literally feel out of place when I’m not working on a weekday. If I’m not working, I feel like I should be. I’ve made some awesome, genuine, friends from work and thinking about leaving them saddens me. Newks is my escape from reality, and I really don’t want to leave it.
I am the weirdest person I know. You think I would be excited for college? Why am I doubting it? Why am I tempted to go to UAB so I don’t have to leave everything I know? Why do I want to stay in Birmingham when I’ve been dying to get out for longer than I can remember?
Lastly, leaving my best friends is going to be horrible. We will NEVER, ever all be together as one unit again. We are all going to go off and make new friends, join soriorties and probably never be all together for real again. It sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks. Especially since a lot of them I just became friends with last year (thankfully). I feel like I just gained them, and now they’re getting yanked away from me. How awesome.
Graduation is in 50 something days. I will not be sitting on this couch in Birmingham in 4 months. In four months I will be sitting on my couch in Auburn and that is what freaks me out.