Monthly Archives: April 2012

Saying goodbye

I absolutely hate saying goodbye. On a list of a million things that I hate, it is most definitely in the top 10. First of all, I hate change. When someone is put in my life, I get used to the fact that they are there, and going nowhere. Then, I come to the realization that people always leave (Peyton…OTH anyone…?) and I’m always going to have to say goodbye. I hate it so much but it’s a part of growing up, something I also hate. Not only does saying goodbye to someone institute change, it institutes sadness. I can be a very emotional person and saying goodbye brings out all of my emotions at once.

The absolutely worst goodbyes, though, are the ones when you know, you just know, that you will never see the person again. It’s not because you don’t like the person well enough to meet up sometime in the future, or that you don’t care enough to reconnect someday, but because life has it’s way with both people, and it may not be right to ever meet up. Both people will have careers, eventually families, possibily live in different cities, or even states, and by the time you reconnect with them, what?, you’re going to meet up with someone you knew years ago, that you met working at Newks for four months? (You guessed it. Of course it has something to do with Newks.) Even if I’ve only known the person for four months, what this post is based off of, I don’t want them to leave. But, I need to tell myself everyone moves on, everyone leaves. Hell, in about 3 months will be leaving. ME. And guess what me leaving means? Saying goodbye. To many, many, people. Saying goodbye to people I’ve never said goodbye to for more than a week, saying goodbye to people that have watched me grow up, saying goodbye to some of the best friends I could ever ask for. Saying goodbye sucks, and since I’m doing so much of it lately, I better prepare myself for tons more.

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Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors

I saw Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors at Workplay the other night. They are amazing! They are big into Young Life so pretty much every YL person loves them. It’s just a known fact. Drew & Ellie (they’re married) are just way too cute for words. I was blown away by their live performance. There is honestly nothing better, in this world than watching a great song performed live, right in front of your face. It makes me filled with joy.

Here is a picture of Drew & Ellie. I literally want to be her. She is too dang cute.

The band who opened for them is now my new obsession! Elenowen, is also a husband and wife duo from Nashville, and they are awesome! I fell in love. Their songs are awesome. They told a story about how they love Friday Night Lights and that made me love them even more, because if someone loves a show I do, we are automatically best friends.

She is gorgeous and I swear to you, he is on my top 10 list of hotties, EVER! He looked like a mixture of Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Gosling. I’m not kidding. They were both so nice!

All around, great night. I just love music.

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the teacher that changed my life

In previous years, I hated school; I had no passion for anything other than gossiping and facebook. My grades in middle school were mediocre at best and I didn’t care, or notice, at all. That all changed in high school.

My first day of ninth grade is exciting. The fact that summer is over does not even phase me. I am in high school.   My first day in ninth grade is so new. Everything is new. I already love high school and I just started. I feel so old. The world is mine for the taking and I am going to take full advantage of it. The bell to second period rings and I meander my way through the hall, excited to meet “A. Mutter.” I go in, sit down and wait for the teacher to come in. As I’m settling in and talking to all my friends about my summer, we are all wondering where our teacher is. A. Mutter was a new teacher so we all are trying to guess: male or female? Right as the “tardy bell” rings, the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen rushes into the room, in true Mr. Mutter fashion (something I soon learned. Punctuality was not his thing.) Coffee, sloshing, in hand, distressed leather “satchel” hanging from his broad shoulder, tight dress pants, a white dress shirt, unbuttoned, and a blue blazer. I didn’t know it at the time but he is a total hipster. As my eyes make their way up, I see the most beautiful head of hair I have ever seen. Thick, long and the kind that stays which ever you push it. I can not believe that he is my teacher. He looks like he belongs in a J. Crew catalogue or in a GQ photoshoot. There is no way a creature that beautiful is a teacher, much less mine. He smiles, sets his things down and introduces himself. “Hello, class. I’m Mr. Mutter, I’m new and I’m going to be your English 9 College Prep teacher.” As he reviews the syllabus, I become intimidated, yet intrigued. As the weeks go by, I realize how awesome of a teacher he is, something many students do not agree with me on. I saw his fire for teaching, no matter how unconvential, and it set a fire in me.

Our first writing assignment is on a list of any controversial topic we want to write on. Before ninth grade, I never had a passion for writing, but I thought I was good at it . The topic I choose to write on is gay marriage. I write my paper and turn it in with full confidence that I will get an A. When we get our papers back, I smile, turn it over and can’t believe my eyes. I made a D. Yes, a D. Somewhere between a 60 and a 69. Perplexed, I ask Mr. Mutter about it and he gives me no specific answer. He just gives me the chance to rewrite it. I take my horrible paper home and rewrite it. It takes me hours, but I do it. I turn it back into him, thankful that he gave me another chance, and I’m positive that I will receive at least a B. A couple weeks later, he gives me my paper back with the grade of an 80. I’m surprised I got such a low B, but happy nonetheless. Anything is better than a D. Still, I’m confused on why my paper did not get an A! I never loved writing before, but I thought I was good at it until this year! The next couple papers we write, I get a C and a B. By this time, I’m thinking “What the hell am I doing wrong here? I can’t make an A on a single paper? Oh my god, how did SHE get an A? Am I not smarter than her…?” Finally, me and Mr. Mutter have a conference about my writing and he explains to me what I’m doing wrong. My brain is stuck in middle school writing, and he trys to help me pull it into high school thinking. See, he has the style of writing so rare that you only come across every blue moon. He has a beautiful, truly beautiful, style of writing and can make anything interesting to read. Everything flows, there’s more than just letters to make words, they mean something and at that very moment, at his desk, I realize that I want to write. It has become a passion of mine and hopefully a passion that I will get to pursue. So, I want to take the time to personally thank Andrew Mutter for drawing out a passion for writing in me that I never knew was there.

Thank you for giving me my past time, my escape, and one of the things I now hold so dear to my heart. Most importantly, thank you for being the awesome person, and teacher, you are and for helping a lost, 14 year old girl find her place in the world.

To the people who read this, thank you. It was written with no idea of an audience, but I thought I would share.

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Music

Music soothes my soul. It means so much to me. I wish I could listen to music 24/7 of my life. It speaks volumes to me. It can make me happy, sad, excited, reminiscent, grateful, or calm. I love to take songs and analyze them. The lyrics, the beat, the instruments, everything. I could listen to it every, single, second of my life. I’m so thankful for it.

 

“Everything that’s come to pass is sand inside the hourglass” -Hourglass by Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors 

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Tyler Hilton

I found out that Tyler Hilton (you might know him as Chris Keller from One True Hill or you might just know him as the perfect man he is) was playing at a small little venue in my town this week and freaked out. I love him and was really confused as to 1) why I didn’t know why he was going to be here because I’m usually pretty up to date on that stuff and 2) why he was playing at this teeny, and I mean TEENY venue, because he is pretty well known. Anyways, it just so happened that I had to work that night. And not register or server as usual, but of course the first time I get scheduled on salads, I have a concert to go to. The problem with being on salads is, you can’t find anyone to work for you because there is technically one night shift salad girl right now, compared to being on register where you can get anyone to cover for you. So, I take the shift and try to get done as fast as I can. I finished closing about 15 minutes after we closed and I wish I could have videoed myself trying to get there because I was running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. I knew Tyler as going to be on at about 9:30 and I made it after the first song. My friends had reserved our seats and we were smack-dad in the middle, front row. it was totally awesome. He is absolutely beautiful in person. I think what I liked most about him is how comfortable he was and how funny he is! He said this, and I agreed, that it felt like we were all just hanging out, not at a concert that we paid for.

I pretty much fan-girled over every single one of his songs. He did a cover of “Video Game” by Lana Del Ray and it was B-E-A-utiful. I didn’t like that song until he played it. The awesome thing at intimate shows like that is getting to meet the artist! He wasn’t taking pictures with people for some reason, I wouldn’t want to every single night on tour either, but he was signing things and having normal conversations with us. I thought that not taking a picture with him made it more real, like talking to a real live person. Which, obviously, every celebrity is but it doesn’t feel like that when the meet and greets are so structured and hectic.

Funny story: I was SO desperate to get to the concert that I said “Screw it!” and went in my works clothes. While I’m waiting my turn to talk to Tyler, his touring partner, Dion, made conversation about Newks. They ate there last time they were in Birmingham and loved it. It made for a good conversation. :)

 

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Hey Jesus

Want to know what I’m doing right now and what I’m supposed to be doing? Writing a paper on Hamlet is one of those things. Listening to The Avett Brothers while writing a pointless blog post is the other. I’ll let you guess which one goes where.

Anyways, tonight was a fantastic night. I got to see Tyler Hilton in concert tonight and HOTDAMN is he amazing. His voice is just perfectly perfect. His guitar playing skills are RIDIC and he is HILARIOUS.

I’ve realized that its 12:05 AM and I’m REALLY going to regret this tomorrow so I’m actually going to attempt to write my paper now. I’ll write about the concert tomorrow for whoever’s reading.

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Someway, baby, it’s part of me, apart from me

Today, I, a now-non current member of the National Honor Society, tapped a younger, now-current member in to the National Honor Society. It was very, very bittersweet. I can’t believe that a year ago, I was being tapped (by my amazing friend Natalie) and the fact that a year has gone by since then really freaks me out. It literally feels like yesterday! I swear it was. Now I’m a whole year older and not a member of the NHS anymore.

Life is going by way too fast. As you might be able to tell, I’m scared of getting older and scared of moving on. Of course, I want to experience all the things that come with age, but a part of me doesn’t. A big, big part of me wants to stay this age forever. The age that you aren’t really held accountable for your actions, when you have no bills to pay, when you can act like a retard and it be okay, when you can have creepy, stalker crushes on guys without it actually being considered creepy and stalkerish, when you’re in the best shape of your life, before the wrinkles form, and the gray hair, and the responsibilities, and the bills, and the job, and children. I want to stay at this age. The age where the world is calling your name, just waiting for you to make your mark on it. I don’t want to get old, I don’t want to grow up. I don’t want to have responsibilities. I want to stay young. Someone, please, tell me how to press pause. Or at least slow down because my life feels like it’s on fast forward and I do not like it.

“After all, life hasn’t much to offer except youth, and I suppose for older people, the love of youth in others.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald

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It’s been one week since you looked at me

I saw American Reunion yesterday and loved it. I’m not going to lie, it’s hard for me to dislike a movie. It really is. Unless it absolutely sucks, or it’s a cheesy action movie(not a fan) then chances are, I will like and I will cry. All of that being said, I liked American Reunion a lot (which I’m guessing I’m alone on because I’ve seen mostly negative reviews).

American Reunion picks up with the 13 year reunion of the East Falls High gang that we all know and love from American Pie, American Pie 2 and American Wedding. I personally love American Wedding, don’t know about y’all. Anyways, the adorable Jim and Michelle are in a sexual rut, Kevin is married to a Gossip Girl obsessed girl we hardly get to see, Finch is just as hilarious as ever, Oz is a sportscaster (NOT on ESPN) in a relationship that seems out of his element, Stifler is well… Stifler and living like he is still in high school, Heather is dating Dron (Dr. Ron.. haha) while still having feelings for Oz, Jim’s dad is mourning the loss of his wife with the help of Stifler’s mom (HUH-LAR-IOUS) and all the others characters don’t have big enough storylines to make this sentence ever longer.

EVERYONE was in this dang movie. Everyone. Even the “MILF” dudes. How awesome. I was not expecting literally every cast member (besides Jim’ mom) to be in the movie but I am so happy they are! Everyone looks good for their age and I thought the movie was still hilarious even though some people think the franchise is stale now. Stifler taking a shi- in those douchebag’s cooler is probably the funniest thing ever. I might be biased because I just love the franchise but I thought American Reunion was great. The ending hinted to a fifth movie…? That would be awesome in a few years.

Now for the non-review part. I was sitting in the movie theater thinking “Wow… it’s their 13 year reunion. They (the fictional characters) are all so old now. Holy shit…. they were all my age in 1999 and now they’re all 30 with kids and married. 13 YEARS??? OMG, I’ll be in their position in 13 dang years. Oh my god, I’m so old! Why is life moving so fast? Brianna… calm down. You’re 17 and haven’t even graduated yet. OMG I’m SO OLD I MIGHT CRY!” Yeah, I’m kind of a crazy person. Don’t read too much into me.

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Content

I am pretty content with life lately. I feel like I’ve been happier overall (except at school, because its almost impossible for me to even smile there) these last couple of months. I love my friends, I love love my job, and you know what I’m not even going to lie, I think a huge part of all of my recent happiness is because of my job. Most people, probably even at least half of the people that work with me, hate their jobs but seriously y’all… I get happy walking into Newks ready for work. I LOVE the people I work with. They are AWESOME. It’s like I’ve made 60 new friends and they all genuinely care about me, which is refreshing because I spend 35 hours a week with the fakest of fake people at school.

This is my second I love my job it’s the best ever! post but I work about 6 times a week, so it’s kind of a huge part of my life and since nothing else that interesting happens to me, I feel like I have to post about work. A part of me really does not want to go off to college because that means I’ll have to leave Newks behind, which sucks. I realize I’ll have a Newks in Auburn to work at, but it will probably never be like the Newks that I’ve spent hundreds and hundreds of hours at since just December!

Long rambling post, short. I love Newks. I love my coworkers friends. I love getting away from my problems while I’m there and I love working with the hottest, nicest guy, pretty much ever.

 

EDIT: Wow after reading this, I need to take some of the money I make and go buy a life, PRONTO.

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College

I’ve really started to think about college lately and it is FREAKING me out. Literally. I am so content with my life as of late (give and take a few things) and I don’t want it to end. I have FOUR months until I move into my apartment at Auburn. Four. I’m feeling anxious just thinking about it. I can’t tell you how ready I’ve been to go off to college for, pretty much, all of high school and now that it is here, I want more time. I NEED more time.

There are still things I feel like I need to do in Birmingham. I have so many things going on right now and it won’t feel right to leave. I was just doing my calander for the rest of this school year and this summer and I realized something. I have no time. None. These four months are going to FLY and I want to cry just thinking about it. 

I’m not scared of college or living on my own, at all. I’m scared of leaving what I know(what I though I’ve always hated… maybe not). I love, love, love, my job and the people I work with. I literally feel out of place when I’m not working on a weekday. If I’m not working, I feel like I should be. I’ve made some awesome, genuine, friends from work and thinking about leaving them saddens me. Newks is my escape from reality, and I really don’t want to leave it. 

I am the weirdest person I know. You think I would be excited for college? Why am I doubting it? Why am I tempted to go to UAB so I don’t have to leave everything I know? Why do I want to stay in Birmingham when I’ve been dying to get out for longer than I can remember?

Lastly, leaving my best friends is going to be horrible. We will NEVER, ever all be together as one unit again. We are all going to go off and make new friends, join soriorties and probably never be all together for real again. It sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks. Especially since a lot of them I just became friends with last year (thankfully). I feel like I just gained them, and now they’re getting yanked away from me. How awesome.

Graduation is in 50 something days. I will not be sitting on this couch in Birmingham in 4 months. In four months I will be sitting on my couch in Auburn and that is what freaks me out. 

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